9:42 am Morning glucose reading.....245
10:02 am 60 units of 70/30 Novolog
10:15 am 1 cup coffee with sweet and low (YUCK)
10:17 am Smoked last Cigarette and applied a Nicotine Patch (God help me PLEASE)
10:30 am Breakfast 1/2 cup Special K with red berries 1/4 cup whole Milk
12:30 pm after breakfast glucose reading 255 (yikes!!!!)
1:30 pm lunch Hamburger patty with cheese and tomato wrapped in lettuce.
Ok so what is this all about? Well hold on to your britches I am about to tell ya'll. I have a plan!!! Yes once again this mini mind of mine has come up with a plan!!!
My blood sugars are too high like out of this world high. Average of 500. Yeah how the hell am I still alive. I think it is because I am so used to being this high that my body is assuming it is normal. Well normal it is not, suicide it what it is.
I have two beautiful, wonderful little children that I love more then anything in this world and I want to see my grandchildren someday so I have to live! Often I ask myself what kind of life will I actually have if I can not eat a big greasy cheeseburger with fries? The answer is I will have a life, and that is the most important thing.
Ok so enough of the "feel sorry for me please bologny" on to my plan!
My plan is to blog all of my numbers and readings and what I consume, to see if i actually see and feel a difference. I will call Dr. G's office today and make an appointment for extactly 3 months and one week. In the three months I will go and do blood work. The extra week is to allow time for Dr. G. to receive test results. My last visit with him was not pleasant. I cried and he was snappy. This appointment was after an emergency room visit for chest pain. It was not a heart attack nor was it to do with my heart. It was costochondritis or something like that. Anyway H was snappy with me. I can see why he is frusterated with me. I was really upset and actually left thinking OMG I will find another Dr. But the fact of the matter is that I like him and I trust him. I can also see his frusteration with me. I don't want him to be "done with" me. I do however want to show him I can do this. So in three months and one week I want to see that he is happy with me. But above all that I want to see it myself, do it for myself and my family.
There are a few reasons that I have decided to blog this:
1. The typing will keep me from wanting to smoke a cigarette. As long as I keep my head on this it should make it easier for me. Whatever works right?
2. I know my friends! I know you will hold me accountable. I need that from you all. Push me, make me mad, make me cry I will thank you for it before it is all over. I don't like to fail in the eyes of others and that is what will keep me going. I am going to publish here everything truthfully. If I falter and have a piece of of chocolate cake, feel free to make me feel as quilty as you can. Put aside the fact that I am not very sensitive ha ha ha, and give you your best lecture.
3. I want to quit smoking and fix my blood sugars for Kristina and Kristopher (Ticky), my babies. They are so little, 3, and 4, and they think I am Super Momsie! I want to live forever for them, I want to set a good example for them. I want to teach and show them a healthy way to eat since this diabetes thing is a bit heredary too.
Now I have already given up sugared sodas, pasta and potatoes. Bread too but yeah that was not hard at all since I rarely ate bread anyway... oh wait tortillas is the same thing... OOPSIE!!! I will have to work on that one!
Please know I am not perfect and I will fall at times, I promise to pick myself up and try try try again. I will exercise more. Let us not forget I will not be smoking threw all of this either. Today is my first day with this, once again god help me. Well he did send me an angel. In the middle of this blog I called my husband crying the blues he assured me I could do this, Then just when I was about to search the house for a cig butt, My angel called from the Tobacco quit line. We spoke for 15 minutes and she gave me some help with triggers and talked me down. So still tobacco free since this morning! Every small victory helps with addiction.
If you are someone you know is trying to quit smoking call: 1-800-784-8669 for replacement products and help.
Well I am gonna call it for now. Please stick with me on this I need you!
Love and hugs,
Barb
Guess who lol! Have you thought about one of those electronic cigerattes? I know a couple of people who are using those with some success, I am not sure how much they are but I am sure it is easy to find out. Good Luck and Stay Strong you Can do it! Love you girl.
ReplyDeleteYou can do this. You have to do it or you won't see your kids grow up. Stay strong
ReplyDelete